One of the components we need to look into is social appeal. Simply put, it is one’s ‘social attractiveness’. It is natural that we look at how a person looks, dresses, speaks, interacts with others and form some kind of idea about that person before we have our first interaction with him/her. Of course, biases and prejudices can be formed if we only look at the ‘outside’. Nevertheless, a positive impression can make us more socially desirable which allows more social opportunities.
Given the deficits of individuals with ASD, it is not hard to imagine being socially attractive could be a bit of a challenge for them. The truth is, many of us might also experience some kind of social difficulty at some point in our lives. So this is not to say we need to groom our children to be Mr. or Ms. Popular nor to claim that social appeal resolves all social issues. The point is, if we help our children become more socially attractive, they might have a better chance to develop and sustain enjoyable social relationships with others.
Repetitive and Restricted Behaviors
Repetitive and restricted patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, such as stereotyped speech and motor movements, excessive resistance to change, high sensitivity to sensory input, and highly fixated and narrow interests etc., are often manifested by the ASD population. While these behaviors are problematic and hinder learning, they also make being in natural learning environments hard and make our children seem socially out of place. Thus, reducing inappropriate behaviors and teaching suitable replacement skills allow our children to blend in the social world and increase their social appeal.
Play and Interest
As mentioned, children with ASD often have highly restricted and fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity. Although some of them possess some amazing knowledge and skills in their areas of interest, it also means that they might have limited common interests with other children which makes them less socially appealing. Teaching our students different types of play, introducing the trendy toys, movies, and cartoons to them, and exposing them to various sports activities can help them fit in and provide them a meaningful platform to interact with their peers.
Be an Expert
Social appeal can be developed through being good at something in which it goes hand in hand with play and interest. Whether it is soccer, computer programing, drawing, or video games, as long as it allows our children to show their talents and contribute to a group, their social attractiveness will be increased and they will probably have a higher chance to relate to others who share similar interests.
Self-Help
At first glance self-help has little to do with socialization. Nonetheless, how a person might be perceived if he/she requires others to deal with his/her day-to-day things like tying shoelaces, wiping mouth, or coming out from the bathroom without washing hands? Surely many typically developing children are still learning these skills even in their primary school years. However, learning age-appropriate self-help skills not only increases independence and autonomy, but also decreases unnecessary attention from others and susceptibility to negative social situations.
Appearance
Some children with ASD might display inflexibilities in clothing (I know someone who insisted to wear short-sleeved even when it was 10 degrees Celsius). Sometimes their excessive interests are shown in the way they dress. It does not seem to be a big deal, and in fact quite common, for a young girl to wear princess dress for special occasions. But it certainly seems inappropriate and attracts unwanted attention, which in turn creates social stigma, if she is 15 years old. Teaching our children to be flexible in different ways and increasing their awareness on how their peers dress can make them more socially attractive.
Without a doubt, successful socialization takes more than just social appeal. Establishing relatedness to others and gearing them up with various social skills are extremely important. However, it is also worth noting social appeal during the above processes as it can make socialization more successful and enjoyable for our children.
Information provided by Autism Partnership
Autism Partnership (AP) is one of the most established Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) service providers for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) in the world. Formed in 1994 in the United States, AP is run by professional clinicians and specializes in providing one-on-one therapy, group interventions and overseas consultation for children with ASD and their families.
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[:zh]自閉症人士通常被認為社交態度冷漠，對他人不感興趣。儘管一般情況下確實如此，但當中仍有不少人樂於與人互動，彼此為伴。具備社交興趣是發展社交關係的重要開端，然而，成功的社交關係所需的不止於此。其中一個我們需要探討的元素就是社交吸引力。簡單來說，就是一個人的「社交魅力」。在與他人初次互動前，我們很自然地會通過對方的相貌、穿著、言談舉止及與別人的互動，對對方形成一定的看法。當然，如果僅通過外在判斷，會很容易產生偏見。然而，正面的印象會讓我們在別人的眼中更具社交吸引力，從而有助獲得更多的社交機會。
鑒於自閉症人士存在的欠缺，我們不難想象具備社交吸引力對他們來說實為一項挑戰。實際上，我們自己也可能曾經遇過不同類型和程度的社交困難。因此，我們並不是希望把孩子培養成處處受歡迎的人，或是認為社交吸引力能夠解決所有的社交問題。可是，若我們能幫助孩子變得更具社交吸引力，那麼他們就有更大的機會與他人發展並維持愉悅的社交關係。
重複及有限的行為
自閉症人群通常表現出重複及有限的行為、興趣或活動，例如刻板的語言及肢體動作、過度抗拒變化、對某些感官刺激高度敏感以及興趣狹隘等。這些行為不僅本身存在問題，阻礙學習，並且使他們難以處於自然的學習環境中，讓孩子看起來與社交環境格格不入。因此，減少他們不適當的行為並教授合適的替代技巧有助孩子融入社交生活，提升他們的社交吸引力。。
遊戲及興趣
如上所述，自閉症兒童的興趣十分有限和狹隘，並且表現出異常的專注度。儘管他們中有些人在自己感興趣的領域上掌握了令人驚訝的知識和技巧，但這也意味著他們與其他孩子的共同興趣有限，降低了他們的社交吸引力。教給學生不同類型的遊戲、時下流行的玩具、電影及動畫並讓他們參與各種類型的體育運動有助於他們融入同輩的社交圈子，同時也提供了一個有意義的平台，促進他們與同伴的互動。
做擅長的事情
社交吸引力也可以通過做自己擅長的事情來發展。而發展自己擅長的事情與遊戲及興趣相輔相成的。不論是足球、電腦編程、繪畫或電腦遊戲，只要能夠讓孩子展現其才能並且能對團隊做出貢獻，那麼他們的社交吸引力就會得到提升，也可能使他們有更大的機會與興趣相投的同伴建立關係。
自理
很多人可能會認為自理與社交並無太大聯繫。儘管如此，如果一個人需要別人處理他的日常生活，像是幫他繫鞋帶、擦嘴或是他如廁後不洗手，那麼別人會如何看待這個人呢？當然，許多一般發展的兒童直至小學時期也仍在學習這些技巧。然而，學習適齡的自理技巧不僅能提高獨立及自主性，還可以減少他人不必要的注意，降低小孩面對負面的社交處境的需要。
外表
一些自閉症兒童可能對穿著打扮表現得頑固（我曾經遇過一個孩子在攝氏１０度也堅持穿短袖上衣）。有時，他們過度的興趣也會表現在穿著方面。也許我們很多時候也看到小女孩在特殊的場合穿公主裙，這似乎沒有太大的問題。但是，如果這女孩已經１５歲了，這種打扮就顯得不適合，並且會引起別人不必要的關注，而這些負面的關注也許會對她造成社交的烙印。增加孩子在不同方面的彈性和靈活度，教導他們多加注意同伴的穿著能讓他們更具社交吸引力。
毫無疑問，成功的社交互動所需的遠不止社交吸引力。讓孩子建立與他人的興趣，掌握各種社交技巧也是十分重要的。然而，如上所述，社交吸引力能使孩子擁有更加成功和愉悅的社會生活，因此也值得我們關注。
資訊由Autism Partnership提供
Autism Partnership （AP）於1994年在美國成立，是全球最具規模為自閉症患者提供『應用行為分析』(ABA) 治療的專業機構。AP是由多位專業臨床心理學家、應用行為分析治療顧問及治療師管理，為患有自閉症譜系障礙（ASD）的兒童及其家庭提供一對一治療、行為干預小組訓練及海外諮詢服務。
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