My name is Justin. I’m 21 years old, a full time college student training to be a counselor. I like video games, swing dancing, watching standup comedy, and flying, whether at my simulator at home, or in real life.
I found about the news that I was diagnosed with ASD when I was in 7th grade, but my parents knew when I was in 5th grade due to a psychological assessment recommended by the child psychologist.
My particular diagnosis of autism is interesting, I live between being very neurotypical (normal) and being autistic. So essentially, I am the bridge between being your typical average person and being autistic. And here I will give you a small glimpse into what it’s like being in my shoes.
The benefits of living with this diagnosis are actually quite a bit. Not only has this help me to see an alternative perspective but be able to see both sides of the argument. When everyone is agreeing on one thing, I’m always somehow able to find the devil’s advocate and see how both sides could be right or wrong.
I’m also very determined. Living with autism has given me the focus needed to be determined enough to be able to succeed, or to at least survive whatever I’m going through. Living with this also helped me to be a lot more empathetic. When someone says that they have an emotional issue, I’m always able to stoop down and be able to feel what they are feeling and be able to be with them in their hurt, offering them guidance and counseling as well as a bit of wisdom to help them to see where they need to go to next.
Also, I’m more than excel in my desire for learning at whatever I am looking at, especially the topics that interest me the most. Sometimes I surprise my peers with how much I know in my fields of interest.
Problems, and what I personally struggle with.
Like many people, people on the spectrum also have problems. From the most minor of hassles, to the very serious ones like suicide and depression. I fortunately have had the privilege of living with family members that love me and are loving enough to love me as I am.
Now before I continue, please let me remind you that every single person’s problems are different. No one problem is too great or too easy to bear. For some on the spectrum, one of their very serious problems may include being able to socialize at will. Others could have more day-to-day stress, like finding a job, going to college, or even just trying to get approval from the parents. (I fit more into the latter half.)
Living with this diagnosis does not come without its challenges. More often than not I find myself very awkward in social situations, always missing the body language, talking over people or steamroll in the conversation in my favor. Eye contact was a learned skill instead of a more natural instinct. I also have my version of stimming sometimes.
My words are very inaudible. Sometimes, my train of thought does not make sense and people like my mom has to constantly ask questions to figure out what I am saying. Also, what seems like deep and intimate conversations or gatherings to me will be someone else’s surface level or acquaintance level talk. Sometimes, I do things without thinking, leaving the situation very intense and hard to deal with.
Living with ASD also means that I have to live with the things that it’s comorbid with, and for me, one big thing that I live with is anxiety. There were a lot of cases where anxiety was annoying in fact with how I go about my day to day business. For example, when I first found out I had a panic attack, I lived in constant fear and worry that this anxiety could affect me for the rest of my life. That was not the last time either, more panic attacks followed following my first one before my beginning of college year. They felt fatal, like someone was about to suffocate me. I thought I was going to live with this for the rest of my life. Little did I know, I was wrong. Support from family and friends reminded me that this is short-term.
Supports from Parents and School
So, growing up with problems, I’ve got most of my advice for my mother. My mum has taught me social cues, to have eye contacts and understand body languages. She spent much time in role-playing different situations with me in dealing with awkward and tensed situations. In fact, almost all of my advice came from my parents, due to the fact that they know me too well. And when I was struggling in school, my parents would encourage me and gave me full support. They had a sense that I was already trying my best and have exhausted all energy in school.
My father on the other hand, provided very big sense of financial support. He has been constantly working, so that every single problem that I faced could also be taken care of financially. My brother was still a little too young at the times when I needed support, and he didn’t quite understand that his older brother is not the perfect brother that he envisioned. Looking back on it now, I appreciated that he assisted greatly during the times of conflict.
Sadly, I did not get quite the same support from my schoolmates or my teachers at school.
Support during my academic school life was limited, teachers did not really comprehend the situation that I was in. I was raised in two local schools before arriving at the school that I would officially graduate from. Both of those schools left a lot to be desired. No one really gave me advice, and worst off I was not really a person that people were willing to support.
And sadly I was also a victim of bullying. Actually I didn’t know I was being bullied until a couple years later when a teacher of mine revealed it to me. I was very shocked and sad at that time. My classmates thought I was not “normal”, since I would say or do things out of the ordinary, have a hard time understanding jokes/sarcasm (which I still struggle with to this day) and some of those things I did were considered “different” from everyone else.
While I did have a lot of love and support to get where I am today, I will admit living with this symptom is actually a joy and a curse at the same time. As stated above, I have listed my good and bad experiences living with hints of autism, and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind living with this for the rest of my life.
My two cents for parents with child with ASD
So, the advice I would give for parents who have children with ASD going through similar situations is to work extra hard as a couple. Realize that you both are in this together taking care of your children (not just one person taking care of everything). Also, be aware of the possibility of spending a little more in the interest of the health for your child.
While it is amazing to go into this with an open mind, do realize that this open mindedness is key to being able to help your child who may have these issues. Also, realize that the problems your children are facing, great and small, will drain your energy. However, play it right and the child may help in the problems.
For those on the spectrum, no problem can be fixed with just money or fear. That would make them more resistant to whatever you propose to fix them. So I recommend a lot of empathy and understanding in helping them. Like most problems, this is a 2 sided problem and would require all sides to be on board with it.
Also, talk to the school and work out how to best accept the child with ASD. if the school refuses, find another one.
I wanted to share the experience of living with this condition not so you can force your kids to live in my shoes and be just close to being “typical”. Rather, this is to let you know that not all autistics are the same. Autism Spectrum Disorder is well…. A Spectrum. We have everyone ranging from very mild and high functioning, to severe and low functioning. I am here to give you a glimpse into what’s it like being on the higher end of the spectrum. But even then, I am only one of 4,000,000 autistics out there, and I highly recommend that my experience can give some hope.
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我是Justin，今年21歲，是一名立志成為輔導員的在讀大學生。我喜歡電子遊戲、搖擺舞、看棟篤笑，還喜歡飛行，無論是在家用模擬器感受，還是現實中真的翱翔。
我在七年級的時候得知自己被診斷為自閉症。但我的父母在我五年級的時候就知道了這個事實，因為當時兒童心理學家建議父母帶我去做心理評估。
我的自閉症診斷結果很有趣，我介於一般普通人和自閉症人士之間。在此，我將會和大家簡單說下我的生活是什麼樣子。
生活在自閉症中的好處還是非常多的。這不僅有助於我發現另一種觀點，還能看清事物的兩面性。每當大家在都認同某件事情時，我總是不隨大流，能為另一觀點辯解，探究每個觀點的兩面性。
我的意志也很堅定。自閉症給予了我堅定意志所需的專注，足以使我成功，或者至少能夠讓我撐過難關。自閉症也使我更具同理心。當別人向我傾訴情緒問題時，我總能被感染，能體會他們的感受，和他們一起面對傷痛，並給予他們一些指導和咨詢以及我個人的見解，幫助他們找到情緒的出口。
而且，我在學習自己想要了解的東西時往往比其他人更出色，尤其是最讓我感興趣的內容。有時我的朋輩會驚訝於我在自己感興趣領域方面表現出的知識量。
我個人遇到的問題
和許多人一樣，自閉症人士也面對許多問題。從非常小的困擾到極度嚴重的問題，例如自殺和抑鬱。幸運的是，我有幸能和非常愛我的家人一起生活，他們愛我，讓我能做自己。
在我繼續之前，我想提醒大家的是，每個人的問題都是不同的。沒有一個問題是大到難以承受或是可以輕易忍受。對於自閉症人士而言，其中一個非常嚴重的問題是他們無法隨意與他人社交。另一些人可能會有日常生活中的壓力，像是找工作、上大學或僅僅是嘗試得到父母的批准。（我比較像是後面這種。）
隨之而來的還有各種挑戰。我時常發現自己在社交場合表現得十分尷尬，總是忽略了他人的肢體語言，打斷別人或者在自己感興趣的話題上滔滔不絕。眼神接觸對我來說是習得的技巧，而非天生的技能。有時我也有自己的自我刺激行為。
我的話語也會讓人無法聽懂。有時，我的思路會讓人難以弄懂，我媽媽就會不停追問我，想要弄清我到底說了什麼。不只於此，一些我認為非常深入和親密的對話或是聚會，對別人而言只是非常表面或是認識的人之間的對話。有時我也會不假思考地做事，使得局面非常緊張，難以處理。
帶著自閉症生活也意味著我必須忍受與之共存的某些東西，對我而言，最大的問題就是焦慮。它干擾到我正常的生活，讓我厭煩。例如，在我第一次驚恐發作時後，我一直活在恐懼之中，擔心這種焦慮將影響我一生。那次發作並非是最後一次，在我開始大學生活之前，恐慌情緒多次找上門來。這種感覺是致命的，就像我將窒息致死。我一度以為我餘生都得忍受這種折磨。然而，我並不知道，我的想法錯了。家人和朋友的支持時刻提醒我這些都是暫時的。
父母及學校的支持
帶著這些問題成長的過程中，我的媽媽給我提供了最多的建議。她教我識別社交線索，進行眼神接觸，並學會理解肢體語言。媽媽花費了大量的時間與我在不同的情境中進行角色扮演，教我處理棘手和緊張的狀況。事實上，所有的建議幾乎都來自我的父母，因為他們最了解我。當我在學校裡感到辛苦的時候，他們會鼓勵我，全力支持我。他們能感受到我已經拼盡全力，努力做到最好。
另一方面，我的爸爸很大程度上給予了我經濟上的支持。他一刻也不停歇地工作，這樣我所面臨的問題都能從經濟上得到緩解。在我需要支援的時候，我的弟弟還非常的年幼，他並不能完全理解自己的哥哥為何不能如他憧憬般完美。現在回想起來，我很感激他在發生衝突時對我的巨大幫助。
遺憾的是，我並未在同學和老師那裡的到同樣的支持。學校能提供的支持有限，老師也不能真正理解我的狀況。在我入讀能正式畢業的學校之前，我曾在香港的兩所學校就讀。這兩所學校給予的支持都未能盡如人意，沒人能真正給我建議，更糟糕的是，我並不是大家想要給予支援的那個人。
可悲的是，我也是學校欺凌的受害者。實際上，我並不知道自己被欺凌，直至幾年後一個老師提醒了我。我當時感到十分的震驚和難過。我的同學認為我「不正常」，因為我會不按常理說話或是做事，無法理解別人的玩笑或是諷刺（我至今仍難以做到這一點），我做的一些事情也被認為是「與眾不同」。
儘管我確實是獲得了許多的愛與支持才能走到今天，我依然認為自閉症的生活是快樂與痛苦並存。如前文所述，我已列出自閉症為我生活帶來的積極和消極的體驗。說實話，我並不介意餘生都帶著自閉症生活。
給自閉症孩子父母的幾點建議
因此，我想要給處於同樣境遇的自閉症兒童的家長的建議是，雙方要一起加倍努力。應意識到你們是在一起照顧孩子，並非一人打點所有的事情。此外，盡可能的多在意一下孩子的健康。
雖然以豁達的心態面對這個問題並不容易，但是要意識到，寬容豁達的心態才是幫助孩子解決問題的關鍵。此外，還應意識到，孩子面臨的問題，無論大小，都將耗盡你的精力。然而，若能正確處理，孩子或許也能幫助解決問題。
對自閉症孩子來説，僅靠金錢或是恐懼都無法解決任何問題。這會使得孩子抗拒你試圖糾正他們的任何方面。因此，我建議在幫助孩子時，多投入同理心和理解。像大多問題存在兩面性一樣，這個過程需要各方面同心協力。
此外，與學校商談，想出能接受自閉症孩子的最佳方案。如果一間學校拒收，就再去找另一間。
我想要分享這種生活經歷並非是要你們強迫孩子按照我的方式生活，或是僅僅讓他們接近於「正常」。相反，這是讓你們知道並非所有的自閉症都是相同的。自閉症譜系障礙指的是一種範圍，有些人的症狀很輕，有些人是高功能自閉；有些人情況嚴重，有些人是低功能自閉。我是想讓大家大致知道高功能自閉者的生活是什麼樣子的。即便如此，我僅是四百萬自閉症患者中的一名，我衷心期望我的經歷能為大家帶來一些希望。
請分享，讓更多人了解自閉症及學習更多應用行為分析（ ABA）的治療技巧。
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