How to teach children to express themselves properly when someone snatched items from him? Part 2

[:en]In Part 2, we will discuss how to help children who may be way too assertive and may use extreme ways such as snatching back, aggression to deal with situation when their toys are taken away. children who exhibit these behaviors probably has learnt from the past experience that snatching back is usually very effective in getting what they desire, and also they are likely to get overly frustrated towards upsetting events, and the more they are upset the less likely they are able to express themselves or use appropriate skills to get what they desire. Therefore, the first thing a parent need to do is the child should not get what he wants if he snatches, the child may escalate to more severe behavior, but parent has to insist at that moment. But more importantly, in the long run, parent needs to proactively teach child how to deal with frustration and how to use other appropriate ways such as give suggestions to effectively get things back instead of snatching.
(For frustration tolerance programs and implementation, please read ABA article on APSPARKS resources website: How to improve children’s tolerance level to failure?)

The below are some simple practice you can do to help practice your child to give suggestion

1) “Let’s take turn, I go first”

A) Demonstration
Start with parent pretend to be child, and to model the target language phase
B) Role play
Encourage child to practice in role play and to use the target language phrase
C) Feedback
Give feedback and reinforcement. Have the child to experience the benefits associated with target phrase
D) Real scenario
After child has been more fluent in using the target language during role play, have him practice in the real scenario and give feedback and reinforcement accordingly

Remarks:
*Child may need to practice turn taking skills separately
*At the beginning of the practice, start with toys that are not super preferable; that may help to increase success of acquiring the language; gradually increase difficulty by practicing using highly preferred toys

2) “How about you play this” and give others an alternative item simultaneously

A) Demonstration
Start with parent pretend to be child, and to model the target language phrase and the target behavior of giving out item
B) Role play
Encourage child to practice in role play and to use the target language phrase and target behavior
C) Feedback
Give feedback and reinforcement. Have the child to experience the benefits associated with target phrase and target behavior
D) Real scenario
After child has been more fluent in using the target language during role play, have him practice in the real scenario and give feedback and reinforcement accordingly

Remarks:
*At the beginning of the practice, put the alternative item very close, and gradually increase the distance
*In separate exercise, child may need to learn how to understand peer’s likes or preferences based on facial expressions, traits, age group, etc; so that in the long run, child will learn to give alternative items that are very likely to be accepted by others

Related Social Awareness program videos, please visit APSPARKS resources website: Facial Expression: Like/Dislike, Emotions: Scared, Emotions

APSPARKS Resource Website

How to teach children to express themselves properly when someone snatched items from him? Part 1
 

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[:zh]在第二部分，我們將討論如何幫助當被同伴搶走玩具時，態度表現得過分強硬和極端的孩子，他們可能會把玩具搶過來，對同伴作出攻擊性行為等等。孩子表現出這些行為可能是因為先前的經驗，通常「搶過來」對於獲得他們心儀的物件非常有效。此外，當出現不合他們心意的事情時，他們很容易感到沮喪，他們愈是沮喪，就愈難以表達自己或使用適當的方式獲取自己想要的物件。因此，父母首先要做的是當孩子出現搶奪的行為時，不要讓他們得到他們想要的，即使這麼做或會導致他們出現更嚴重的行為問題，但是父母當下態度要堅定。但是，就長期而言，更重要的是父母需要有積極處理的方法，預先教孩子在遭遇挫折時要如何處理，例如，教他們透過給出建議，以適當的方式有效地拿回物件，而不是去搶奪。
(有關提高受挫能力的課程及教學請參閱APSPARKS網上資源平台上的教學文章：如何提高孩子的受挫能力)

以下簡單的練習有助於孩子練習給出建議的技巧。

 

1) 「我們輪流吧，我先」

A) 示範說明
先由父母假扮孩子，然後示範目標語句。
B) 角色扮演
鼓勵孩子在角色扮演中練習，並使用目標語句。
C) 給予反饋
給予反饋及獎勵。讓孩子體驗使用目標語句帶來的好處。
D) 真實情景
當孩子能夠在角色扮演中更加流暢地使用目標語句後，讓他在真實情景中練習，並給予相應的反饋和獎勵。

注意事項:
*孩子可能需要單獨練習輪候技巧
*剛開始練習時，選用並非孩子十分喜愛的玩具，這有助於他們成功掌握目標語言。之後可以通過使用他們非常喜愛的玩具來逐漸增加難度

   

2) 「你玩這個怎麼樣？」，同時拿另一個玩具給對方

A) 示範說明
先由父母假扮孩子，然後示範目標語句和給出物品的目標行為 。
B) 角色扮演
鼓勵孩子在角色扮演中練習，並使用目標語句和目標行為。
C) 給予反饋
給予反饋及獎勵。讓孩子體驗使用目標語句和目標行為帶來的好處。
D) 真實情景
孩子能夠在角色扮演中更加流暢地使用目標語句和展示目標行為後，讓他在真實情景中練習，並給予相應的反饋和獎勵。

注意事項:
*剛開始練習時，將另一件玩具放在非常近的位置，然後逐漸移向較遠的位置
*在單獨的練習中，孩子可能需要先學會通過面部表情、特徵、年齡段等來了解同伴的喜好。漸漸地，孩子會知道選用對方很可能會接受的物品

相關社交意識課程教學影片，請參考APSPARKS課程教學視頻 – 根據觀察表情瞭解別人的喜惡，情緒：害怕，情緒：

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如何教孩子當玩具被搶時，正確表達自己的意願（一）

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資訊由Autism Partnership提供

Autism Partnership （AP）於1994年在美國成立，是全球最具規模為自閉症患者提供『應用行為分析』(ABA) 治療的專業機構。AP是由多位專業臨床心理學家、應用行為分析治療顧問及治療師管理，為患有自閉症譜系障礙（ASD）的兒童及其家庭提供一對一治療、行為干預小組訓練及海外諮詢服務。

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